Friday, January 13, 2012

Im sorry this is so long. Im not sorry.

So, dear blog and whoever pays attention to this, I seemingly have been too busy to post anything. I spent this past week actually writing things down. With a pen and on paper. And I havent done that in a while. It was nice. Its always more expressive. and I miss that. maybe I should do that more often. ..

Anyways, I have been able to keep a bit busier this week which was much more delightful than the past week. I have looked into multiplying my plants, pepper plants, christmas cactai, and echeveria plants. I am propagating some of them, hopefully that works out. Though I am not quite sure how I am going to transport them to FL.. Ill figure that out later I guess.

I got a bunch more fabric today when I went home and saw dad. I will now make new/more curtains for my room as I am getting better at using the sewing machine/ am paying more attention to what I am doing. #Winning. I will also be making clothing for mice as Kevin has thrown the gauntlet and I have yet to return a punch! I dont even know what we will do with this clothing... what am I doing with my life.

Do people even care?
I wonder.
I wonder what people think after having read into my life. thoughts. I dont want to see their faces.
I need to bind my divorce book.
Jaws dropped when readers read that.
Thats life though.

anyways, The neighbors next door have a friend boarding for a bit, til the end of january. He's from WV and is travelling and I guess figuring out where he wants to be to be making his music. It's actually pretty good. I have gone to a few open mic nights here in the N.Shore with him. It's nice getting out of the house and actually interacting with people... but it's weird because they are not the kind of people that I am used to. I think they are called  Noor-Mahl? (normal) whatever. I have learned that I dont think I really know how to have a serious and real conversation with somebody, anybody anymore, because the people that I am around all the time are on the same wave lengths as me, I? Its been too long.

mais, Je veux parler en francais beaucoup de la temps.

Oh, but back to open mic nights, those are nice, but i would really like to hit up some basement shows. Babetown was awesome on halloween, wish I coulda gone new years. I just want to meet a lot of people, blow off steam, get excited, live. listen to rad music, have fun, see things that I didn't expect, and just let things happen. let happiness run its own damn course through my life.

Joe was just in TX for an astronomy presentation gathering. It looked really nice from the pictures I saw. He said he'd call after he got back. My phone sais the time is 0:00. midnight on the dot. He flew back thursday I think. said he'd call over the weekend.

I dont know what I'm doing in my life.

and I feel like the next year will be such an insignificant amount of time, a blip on the radar of my life. but I also cant help feeling that being apart is the biggest mistake or regret that I will have ever experienced in my life. And after all is said and done, everything that will have happened will have been worth it.

I read once, and now say all the time: "Never regret anything, because at one time or another, it was worth it."

... I dont know how true this is. But I will continue to believe it.

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